We scheduled the biopsy which wasn't totally painful but it was all rainbows either, I had cramping and slight bleeding for 24 hours. The night of biopsy Mr V and our beauties attended a friends basketball game and my sweet friend Tiffany brought pizza and chocolate( shes an angel). I took it easy and tried not to think because thinking always leads to over thinking and then its a disaster for me. On Dec 19 I got the phone call I was dreading, Cervical Cancer, it was the very early stages so we caught it in time we had a few options, there are different procedure's that can be done and I opted for the full hysterectomy leaving my ovaries( if my Dr thought they were OK during surgery). after I got off the phone once again Mr V was my first phone call and at that time I fell apart I couldn't speak I was crying to hard I was scarred to death. A millions thoughts were racing through my brain how about if it spreads to other places in my body? Ive never had surgery how about if I don't wake up? how about this? how about that? To calm my nerves I called one of my closest friends Ashley to update her, she was one of the few people who knew about everything I was dealing with. Ashley helped me realize that surgery was the best thing, I had three girls, husband a long life ahead of me and she would do anything she could to help. As Soon as I got off the phone with Ashley my phone rang and it was my other dear friend Natalie who was calling to see if I got my results, Im blessed to have such caring friends I couldn't have gotten through that day without their sweet words. I couldn't think about my nerves or thoughts that much longer I had a mommy daughter weekend to the Nutcracker planned with my girls and our dear friends Lori and Sarah. That weekend lasted forever as I painted a smile on my face for my girls ( they weren't aware of any of this) inside I was a ball of nerves. I'm thankful for having my friend Lori there she was one of the few people who knew what I was going through every step of the way and she listened all weekend and just the listening ear we all need sometimes. I had a great support system of people who were checking in on me and offered the moon and stars if that's what I needed.
February 3, 2015 I went in for my very first surgery. I didn't sleep a wink the night before and neither did Mr V he stood up all night with me reassuring me that we were doing the right thing and everything would be fine. I asked for my prayer warriors to lift me up that morning and the most amazing thing happened when we arrived at the hospital and got checked in I felt a rush of calmness and peace fall over me I was OK and it was in Gods hands
I came home to an overwhelming array of flowers and gifts. I could have opened a flower shop. I had friends who were sharing the duties of picking up our Beauties from school for the next month so Mr V could stay home with me. Our friends also shared meal schedules so we didn't have to cook for about a month either. Mr V took a month off and did everything for me. The pain was off and on but as long as I stayed the course of my pain medication I was fine, a little tip make sure your eating well and drinking lots of fluids the pain meds can be rough on your stomach! I took the pain pills for about three weeks and slowly started pulling back. After about 4 weeks I could start driving again which meant back to my crazy schedule, our girls danced so each girl had two to three different dance classes on different days at different times. During my healing process I was okay physically but emotionally it knocked me down. I have never really dealt with anxiety until this whole cancer issue took place. I loved being out and about with friends and being a SAHM who wasn't home because we were always so busy, but having to take down time to recover which took about 6 weeks physically for me took me out of my norm and I felt isolated and being left with my own thought wasn't a good thing. I feel into a low place I was so unhappy I felt alone even though I had the same people calling me, texting me, checking on me that I was always around, it was the strangest feeling to feel this way because I couldn't explain it and I didn't want to let anyone know. So everytime I went somewhere I put on a fake smile and acted like everything was great. My marriage, my kids and technically my life was great but me myself I was in a hole that I couldn't get out of because I didnt know how I got there. I fell into such a depression that I ate my feelings I went from 115 pounds to 150 in 10 months.
Six and half months later I went in for a check up another pap smear to see if there were any signs of cancer , I was clear (or so I thought) my Dr performed a breast exam and felt some lumps under my underarm area on both sides. I had felt them previously but at the time they felt like ingrown hairs so I paid it no mind. Mammogram performed and it showed high density. At this time I called a plastic surgeon, Dr. Scott Harris in Plano Texas who knows breast better then a plastic surgeon. I went in to see the Dr in Plano and he confirmed it was glandular breast tissue and the only way to remove it was surgical. It could cause breast cancer, those were the only words Mr V and I had to hear before we knew once again I was going through surgery.
December 28, 2015 I underwent my second surgery in 10 months this time it was axillary surgery. Surgery went well and they removed all the masses under both arms. Dr Harris and his staff are AMAZING I highly recommend them and I cant thank them enough. NOW recovery on the other hand did not go so well, it was the most painful thing I have ever gone through. I didn't put two and two together underarm surgery will have a huge impact on your arms!! I couldn't move my arms for about a good month. Mr V showered me, washed my hair, dressed me, shaved me and once again was my knight in shinning amour. I was on a few different medications which made me sick and sometimes I would have nightmares where I would wake up screaming and covered in sweat. Needless to say we weaned myself off them as soon we could. Little by little I started regaining feeling in my arms and day by day my strength started to return. Once again I emotionally was on a roller coaster that seemed like it was never going to end. I haven't had many much contact or gatherings with my friends and due to my two recent surgeries we decided not to take part in any after school activities so my crazy schedule fell into a whole new life for me I'm actually a SAHM who is ALWAYS home. I miss my friends and taking my girls to dance and activities but I just couldn't do that while healing. I have had about 4 checkups with my Texas Dr and will continue to have them for the next year. it took me about 2 months to get back to normal and even today I'm not 100% I still have numbness on parts of my arms and my incisions are still healing. I'm going to the gym and I'm eating better, my weight is back under control, happy to say I am 131 pounds. A lot has changed in the past 2 years for me I view life differently and try my hardest not to take anything for granted like I once did. The things that were once so important like running here and there and doing everything that I was asked to do going in a million directions just isn't as important anymore, the most important thing to me is my family, and being in the present and taking care of myself, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I still suffer from anxiety and over thinking, but Im healthy and everyday I thank God for this journey and all the people who helped me along the way because who knows what would have happened if I didnt go through these surgeries. I'm happy to say the roller coaster has finally slowed down and I'm actually at a point in my life where I'm enjoying the ride, I'm trying not to over think and just enjoy the little things. I can't wait to get back 100% till then I'm taking it day by day and counting my blessings.
Thank you for reading get my blog and journey. I hope this brings awareness to these topics and helps encourage you to get checked and to remember that we have one body we must take care of it. I didnt think it could happen to me but it did, and it could happen to anyone so don't take a chance get checked regularly and take care of yourself, there is only one you in the world. xo Ladymvega