Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Dear Self...

Dear Self
My pen has barely hit the paper and I'm already in tears. Knowing that writing this letter will put you in one of those vulnerable states that you dislike so much. Sometimes your stricken with so much emotion and second guessing your abilities as a mother, that I hurt for you. I know you better then anyone, but yet still, you many times don't even believe me, you, when I say " you're doing a great job." Motherhood wasn't meant for the faint of hearts. Being a mother is hard. Being a mother is exhausting. Being a mother is many times unfair, BUT, being a mother is wonderful!! Being a mother is rewarding beyond any and all measures!! Being a mother is something that not anything could ever compare to! Being a mother is such an incredible blessing and has helped created the woman you are, we are, today.

You often choose to say no because you always fear the worst, you let your anxiety take over more days then not. I see you fighting your anxiety daily and some days its too overwhelming and you become someone that you're not. You shelter your children. And thought you do it out of love, you are ultimately depriving them. As they get older, you must learn to be confident in the way you've raised them. Having faith that they will make the right decisions. You have to realize that they may not always make good decisions, and that their bad decisions are not a way a reflection of a mother you were, you are.
Worry less and play more. Do not let the fear of something, bad happening to your children prevent you from embracing life's adventures with your children. Stop trying to control every moment and just let the moments control themselves. Pray, have faith, and take chances, knowing that your children are protected by someone greater than yourself. There will come a time when you will read this letter, and I'm sure you will break down. There will be tears, and there very well be some regret. But, with the regret there will be joy, oh sweet momma there will be so much joy. Joy in being able to see how far you've come into your journey. Joy in being able to see that yes, you were in fact a wonderful mother who at times made mistakes, but ALWAYS loved. It is my hope, my prayer, that you continue to embrace this journey we are on. I pray that you remember all the good memories that you've provided for your children. Always know that no one can be a better mother to those Vega Beauties than you. And most importantly, remember that we are in this together. Never give up on yourself. Never give up on us.
A Part of You