As I sat their with other women chatting about our marriage's, relationship's and even the bible that's when it happened...
A woman across the room looked at me with this puzzling look and responded to my comment when she said, " Your husband actually listens to you and you still have the "honeymoon" phase after being together for over 19 years?" Mine doesn't listen to me and we definitely don't have that passion anymore! I tell him he should do certain things, but he doesn't listen."
I could tell based on the look in her eye's and the sadness in her voice she wished her relationship with her husband was different. To be perfectly honest it caught me completely off guard and due to the setting we were in I didn't feel like I needed to go into my own personal teaching on a wife's influence- how she could use it or how she could lose it.
I came home and thought about her question, thought about the time's in my own marriage when I felt like there was a distance between me and Mr V. I am going to share with you what I did and still do to this day. I sat down with him and talked to him, asked him what he needed from me. I talked to him about influence, more specifically, what a wife can do ( or not do) that stirs up a husband's heart so she's able to make a positive impact on his life.
- Be a wife he can trust. Influence comes from trust and without trust, there is no influence.
- Be kind and gracious to him. He feels welcomed by this.
- Stand in his corner and fight with him against the world, rather than backing him into a corner. Every man wants a woman who is on his side when they're in a midst of a trail. Be the kind of wife who cheers him regardless of the outcome of the battle.
- Support his endeavors. By believing in him and following him, this makes him feel like he can conquer anything.
- Esteem him in public. There is no higher compliment in his eye's
- Be a safe place for him. Accept him for who he is rather than judging him for his shortcomings.
- Let him know you're praying for him. This shows him you care about his spiritual well-being.
- Be a passionate wife. Pursue him intimately, the man doesn't always have to be the one pursues the woman. Your husband wants to feel wanted just as much as you do. DON'T let the passion end, Remind yourself why you feel in love with him. Flirt with him like you're still dating.
- Put him before the children. Show him that you respect him by teaching your children to respect him. Make time for him. As a wife and mother time can be a short coming but it can be those few minute's alone with your husband that changes his day. He was there before the children and will be there after the children leave so make sure you make time for him.
- Choose to be a joyful wife. Be content with your life rather then gripe about life.
" An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.
An excellent wife is a wife who seeks to use her influence to bring glory to God rather than glory to herself.